The Future Is Past

I have not updated for a while. I am still coming to terms with the fact that I am unable to continue with my plan of studying at Animation Mentor. There are probably additional reasons, but here are the main ones:

1. BALANCE: My home life, especially with regards to my daughter, must take precedence. At three, she is becoming much more independent, but still needs (and demands) my attention- constantly. I found myself becoming resentful when she asked at times when I was trying to focus, even just to read my animation books. I imagine it would only get worse during class.

2. SUPPORT:My husband has been supportive, sort of. He has told me that he wants me to pursue my dream, but has been incredibly reluctant to take on additional debt, or make more immediate financial sacrifices. He needs me to be 200% certain that this is my career path, for him to be barely 100%. I also feel like this would be my journey alone. He doesn't care for movies, much less animated ones, so we can't share that joy.

3. DRIVE: The fact that I could even consider leaving AM at all makes me wonder if I am indeed capable of "walking the walk" after "talking the talk". I also wonder if my poor old bones are up to being up at all hours during a crunch time. I wonder how I handle stress, after spending 3+ years out of the workforce, and 10+ out of school.

4. LOCATION: Sooner or later, we are moving to Seattle. Better chance of buying a condo or house someday, more relaxed environment, more friends. When I thought about starting this path, we were planning to stay here in California where job opportunities are much more plentiful- especially in feature work which is what I think I would prefer.

So what now? I didn't write this until I had a better idea. I am going to be doing a ton of nonprofit volunteer work this year, and taking a brief workshop in Humane Education . Maybe something will inspire me, and at least I will be moving and helping others while I help myself.

More soon (I hope)...